from “The Explorer” by Rudyard Kipling, 1898

Anonymous asked: Don't hate on me but I don't see why the advice that was given to look your best for an interview, even if it means getting your hair "touched up" is such bad advice. I think one should think of an interview as if you were going on a date and the guy has one quick assessment of you. Wouldn't you want that opinion to be, "Wow, she was great I'd like to call her and see her again?"

Thanks for your comment.  You’ve made a good point - and we mostly agree.  It’s important to look your best on an interview.  And, people should have the hair color that makes them feel attractive.  However, it’s also ok if I choose to like my gray hair. If I “touched it up” it would be to conform to others’ perception of beauty.  That being said - it has occurred to me to swallow my pride and dye laughing.

Reinventing and improving identity.

At the risk of decreasing my chances of getting a job, I’m standing on a soapbox. If the term soapbox ages me, so be it.  I’m over 50 and proud.  Last night I attended an employer panel and networking event.  After driving in rush hour traffic for over an hour, I arrived on time and pulled into an expansive parking lot filled with cars.  

When I entered the event venue, I heard conversations converge, so loud that I had to project my voice when registering at the front desk. The room was already teaming with professionally dressed attendees chattering in pairs or standing alone taking aerial views of people who might know other people to connect them with a job.  

Possible shame, despair, and frustration temporarily gave way to hope.  If this were a movie set, the soundtrack: “Get a Job,” by the Silhouettes.  Another clue that I’m not twenty-three.

The evening progressed with an opportunity for experts to review resumes, followed by a panel discussion.  Four recruiters presented how, who, and what they look for and answered questions from the audience.  One gentleman from the audience made the observation that there were a substantial number of middle-aged unemployed and underemployed people present.  He asked the panelists advice about how to deal with hiring “ageism.”  The panelist who took the question, answered by saying that though ageism exists, ultimately age is a state of mind.  So, he said, when you go for the interview dye your hair, wear nice clothes and new eyeglass frames, and put as much thought into looking attractive as you would if you were going out on a date.  

After the panel portion of the evening ended, and I had an opportunity to talk with another recruiter/panelist, a woman, I asked her what she thought about how to present one’s self if middle aged.  She responded by reading my resume and telling me that graduation and job dates had to go.  

I questioned her. Why? Though I’ve read that some say this is necessary, it was difficult to hear from a recruiter that she prefers a young over an honest resume. She replied that recruiters believe that older people may not be as willing to learn new techniques, are not as energetic, and are probably not tech savvy.  Ouch. 

My hair is turning gray; it’s ok.  My hair matches my face.  A face lift’s not an option.  I’m proud of post college and graduate school work accomplishments - while raising a family.  If an employer can’t accept my age, I’m not interested in that organization.  

I’m energetic, willing to learn new methods, and tech savvy. So are many others with years of work/life experience and graying hair.  If employers want to hire open-mined people, willing to accept new challenges, why aren’t those employers open-minded?  I understand it’s a buyer’s market; I don’t buy into pretending that I’m someone I’m not.  I like who I am - gray hair and all.  The soapbox is yours.

Sustaining the necessary optimism for the job search is challenging.  One trick, borrowed from a TED Talk, “The 3 A’s of Awesome, ” by Neil Pasricha, found on an earlier entry of my blog, is to recognize what’s good about the day.  

Here’s what’s so good about today:

I met two inspiring women at an informational meeting.

The meeting was arranged through the kindness of another exceptional woman who I doubt I would have met if I hadn’t been looking for a job.

We met in a beautiful old building surrounded by tall trees and well kept fields.

While walking down the street today, for the first time, I struck up a conversation with two meter maids.  We shared a good laugh!  

It was a warm, sunny summer day even though Labor Day has passed.

I saw a friend in the grocery store who said I should start a business.  I agree.

A friend and I arranged to go for a walk tomorrow.

Tomorrow is another opportunity to create a fabulous future!

 by Kristin Armstrong

How can you tell if a job posting is real or not?  Recently I’ve applied for 3 positions to discover that the jobs were filled.  Though I’m not paid, my time is valuable.  I carefully crafted letters, filled out forms, sent resumes, and asked people I know to take time from their workday to contact people they knew in those places to provide recommendations.  Each time I felt badly for imposing on others when it wasn’t necessary.  Each time I felt badly.  Where’s the Wall of Job Rejections?  I have unread letters to post.  

Here’s a job to advertise: Webmaster who will erase jobs from websites when jobs are filled.  

Anais Nin 

I was flipping TV channels, and I landed on news coverage of the unemployment epidemic.  First the reporter announced a list of corporations that were laying off thousands.  Then the camera panned from numbers to an attractive, professional looking young woman, unemployed for over a year. The woman began talking with dry eyes, articulating calmly and clearly, saying that she grew up thinking that if she was a competent worker and lived an honest life she would naturally be employed. However, she added with tears welling and a muffled voice, I can’t find a job. She disclosed, though I want to lie down and cry, I have to stay positive to convince employers that I am the best candidate for the job.  

No doubt others watched this spot and understood the woman’s frustration and despair.  How do you maintain strength in light of scant possibilities and a diminished future?   

Job listings are oftentimes bogus - posted though given to insiders. Transitioning from one career tract to another creates additional competition with more experienced personnel.  Staying in the same career path may be limiting.  Starting a new business costs money long before income arrives.  Bills mount while days turn into weeks, months… If you value security, it’s scary. 

Though there’s no magic solution to get from point A to point B, there are tried and true paths to success.  Here are some suggestions from others that might enable us to get to point B sooner rather than later:

1. Believe that you will find a job.

2. Visualize the job.

3. Schedule every day if possible with meetings to meet with people who might know people in your profession.

4. Continue searching and responding to job postings.  

5. Attend potential networking events.

6. Take time to exercise, listen to music, be with friends, do what makes you happy.

7. Schedule more meetings!

Though we can’t control the job market, we can do everything in our power to get into the job market.  Despite all odds, there’s a way!  

Eleanor Roosevelt

The word “interview” conjures discomfort.  You’ll be judged. First impressions matter: how you look, what you say, how you say it, when you talk, and how well you listen.

Can you sell yourself by being yourself?  Do you have the expertise that fits the position? Are you a team player?  Can you work independently?  Do you take initiative?  Do you accept criticism?  

Conversely, interviews are a terrific “trailer” to the full feature film of an organization.  Subtleties might not be apparent, but by talking with personnel, noticing the environment, and asking pertinent questions, you can learn a lot. List your top priorities for an ideal working environment, and while you have the opportunity to explore, discover what’s there and what’s missing.  

Some tips for what not to do on an interview:

1. Do not pretend to be someone you’re not.

2. Do not pretend that you accomplished something that you did not.

3. Do not minimize your accomplishments.

4. Do not chew gum.

5. Do not check your cell phone or leave the ringer on.  Do not text.

6. Do not avoid eye contact.

7. Do not fidget.

8. Do not forget to follow up with a thank you note/message.

9. Do not shake hands limply.  

10. Do not be late.

11. Do not say anything you might regret if you do not want the job.

What to do: 

Be the person you would want to hire.  Go for it!

Has This Ever Happened to You?

Unemployment begs the opportunity of creating a business.  Good idea.  What idea though? Really.  I’m trying to match work that I love with marketplace acceptance.  What would you buy?  So far, here are some ideas for possible products that might have merit:

1. food or drink mix 

2. table toppers (cloth napkins, table runners, etc.)

3. simple dresses and tops

4. ????

The 3 A’s of awesome: Neil Pasricha on TED.com

Neil Pasricha’s blog 1000 Awesome Things savors life’s simple pleasures, from free refills to clean sheets. In this heartfelt talk from TEDxToronto, he reveals the 3 secrets (all starting with A) to leading a life that’s truly awesome. (Recorded at TEDxToronto, September 2010 in Toronto, Canada. Duration: 17:33)